# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
