I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
