I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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