Sponge bath it is.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
