i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.