It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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