were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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