When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
