your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
