Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
