Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
