There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
