My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
