i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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