My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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