she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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