He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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