also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
