I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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