I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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