these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
