I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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