i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
