belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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