On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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