Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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