Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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