dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
