Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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