Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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