he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
