Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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