the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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