He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
