I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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