literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
