ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
