oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
