then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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