This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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