Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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