if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
