Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
