he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize