Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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