I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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