my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish I only lived at night.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
