She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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