TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How external is "for external use only"?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
