I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
