She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i out mim tonsoeep
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