So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
