We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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