if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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