We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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