I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
