She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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