Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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(619): View more from California

why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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(207): View more from Maine

Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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(914): View more from New York

If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude

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(770): View more from Georgia

Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Drunk twilight is the only twilight

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