i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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