maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
