I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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