Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
