...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
