another moral hangover. fuck.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
