Swine flu. Run for my life!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
