Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
