Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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